Eighteen days ago I completed the most difficult journey I have taken in my life. Two years ago I was preparing to return to the United States from Korea. One year ago I was in the middle of my internship in Thailand. Today I am sitting on my couch unemployed. Ha! It has been a trying two years. I have known a lot of stress, had several moments of clarity, learned a lot, experienced deep pain, lost many hours of sleep, met some wonderful people, and discovered many things about myself and who I am in Christ.

School consumed much of the last two years. Most of my time was either spent studying, at school, thinking about studying, spending time with friends from school, or preparing for the next step. But for me this time was about much more than school. One thing I learned during this time was that I am good at math. I never knew that. I never believed that I could do math and understand it deeply. I entered my program having not taken math for more than six years and I left my program teaching university level statistics to sixty undergraduate students. I don't really think this says anything about my own personal talent. To be honest, I don't think that I have any kind of natural mathematical ability. But one of the best lessons I learned is that I can do difficult things. I can face challenges and surpass their strength. I learned a lot about people. There are mean people, kind people, competitive people, people that annoy you, people that hurt you, people that love you, people that only care about their success, people that are self-sacrificing. I learned about the kind of person I want to be and the kind of people that I want to have around me. I learned that my heart could really be destroyed and that I could really forgive. I never thought I was capable of that. I learned that I really did enjoy much of what I studied, but that those are not the only things that I enjoy in life. I hope that I will never again allow one thing to overpower and consume me like school did. I learned that I am not white and that it is important for me to be around people who understand that and who can appreciate with me the cultures that I call my own. I also learned that I love and need music, exercise, my family and friends, good food, and the Lord in my life regularly. These things are really important to me. All of this might seem very simple or obvious, but to me, learning them was neither.

I am now in this weird and wonderful time where I don't have to go to work or school. This means I get to sleep and exercise and cook and take care of my body. It means I have to time to be with people that I have neglected. It means I can watch TV and play the ukulele or drink coffee and stare at the ceiling or walk outside and listen. Sometimes I don't even think it is real. I used to have horrible nightmares about mishaps with my assignments or major exams that I forgot to study for. I feel like those thoughts still linger and plague my peace. I know this all sounds kind of dramatic, but it really was an intense experience for me. Being out of it sort feels like post traumatic stress disorder or something.

I have had a lot of lovely days since graduating: time with family, fun with friends, boxing, doing yoga, making homemade jam and pickles and mayonnaise and treats, reading about random things, reading books for fun, playing music. I know this time won't last forever so I want to enjoy it slowly and peacefully.

I am grateful for school. I am grateful for the last two years. But I am also grateful for closed doors and new beginnings. And most of all, I am so grateful for the precious people that I have in my life. Here's to a new journey...!